


Forever

by simplymoa



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-30
Updated: 2009-12-05
Packaged: 2018-04-22 21:10:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4850660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplymoa/pseuds/simplymoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Realizing the truth is not always easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My very first Kradam fiction

The first thing Kris would feel were hands; hands roaming over his body, touching, caressing, stroking. Then lips, soft wet hungry lips pressing against his neck, his chin, his mouth, so sweet, that mouth; but whose was it? Whose hands were bringing him closer and closer to sheer pleasure, quickening his breathing, heating his blood? Whose mouth kissed him so madly, so softly, so deeply, making him yearn for more? He would try to open his eyes to see his mysterious lover, only to find out that he couldn’t. It was not the first time Kris had that dream. No, in fact he had that dream before, so many times, and quite regularly and it would always end that same way. When he couldn't see the face if his lover, he'd wake up, panting, wanting more, needing more, without any success at discovering who it was in his dreams. This time, however, Kris felt something new, something strange, something startling. This time, the kisses and the touches abruptly stopped and Kris felt fingers on the back of his head, pulling at something. What was it? A blindfold? Kris tensed and opened his eyes as the blindfold was pulled off.

He woke up with a start, sweating and breathing hard.

_It can't be!_

Kris glanced over at his wife, Katy, who was soundly asleep next to him. He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He splashed some water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He did not like what he saw, not one bit. He leaned over the sink, pressing his forehead against the cold mirror.

"Adam," Kris whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, trying hard to block out the last image of his dream. It had been Adam, his best friend who he had seen when the blindfold was lifted. Adam's hands on him, Adam’s body pressed against his, Adam's mouth on his. Kris shook his head, willing to forget, wanting to be untrue, but when he opened his eyes again, he knew that wasn't the case.

Since the day they met, Adam has always been his ultimate fantasy, the forbidden passion he couldn't have. Except in his dreams, but God, how he wanted him! How had that happened? When had he started having feelings for his best friend? Where had he gone wrong? Kris stood still, with his eyes closed again, and once again pictured Adam. Adam's mouth on his, kissing him deeply, Adam's mouth on his neck, on his chest, nibbling his flesh, swirling his tongue all over his skin, moving slowly down his body, past his navel and....

"Stop it!" Kris hissed, stopping his imagination to go any further, "What’s wrong with you, Kris? He is your friend, you are straight!" Kris said to his reflection in the mirror. He had to stop thinking about Adam that way, before things got any worse, before he would do something he knew he would later regret. He couldn't think about Adam anymore. He was sure he would go crazy if he did. He knew he would never act on those feelings, ever!

He crept back into bed and under the covers and reached for Katy, pulling her into his arms. He softly kissed her forehead, "I love you," he whispered fiercely, wanting to convince her, or rather himself. He closed his eyes, praying he would not have that dream again, not again, not anymore.

******************************

Kris slowly opened his eyes the next morning to see Katy looking at him with kind eyes and an affectionate smile.

"Good morning baby," she whispered, as she lifted her head from the pillow and leant over, kissing Kris softly on the lips.

Kris kissed her back, trying to pull her closer and into his arms.

“I don’t want you to go,” he whined, smoothing his hand through the tangles of her hair. Katy laughed, kissing Kris again. Oh, how Kris loved that laughter, rich and beautiful. It always made him smile.

"Silly, you know I have to go to work," Katy said as she tried to squirm out of Kris’s embrace.

"Not quite yet," Kris whispered, smiling, as he firmed his hold on Katy’s body and kissed her again and deeper, slipping his tongue into Katy’s mouth. She sighed, loving the feel of her husband, as she wrapped her arms around Kris’s neck and kissed him back. After a few moments and when things started to get hotter between them, she finally stopped him.

"Kris, I really have to start getting ready," Katy said, standing up, “Or I will be late…again!”

Kris sighed, remembering how the week before he had succeeded in persuading Katy to stay in bed with him just a little bit longer. One thing had led to another, and Katy was late for work, something her manager was not very fond of and he had not failed to let her know about that.

"I know. I'll see you tonight then, babe. Oh and I almost forgot, good luck!"

"You remembered!" Katy said with a bright smile on her face. Kris was the most loving and thoughtful man she had ever known and for being that lucky, Katy was always grateful.

"Of course I did baby! I know you'll get the promotion today. We have to celebrate tonight," Kris said reaching up to tickle her. She laughed and playfully swatted his hand away.

"Promises, promises!", Katy teased with a wink, "I really really have to go now or I'll be late. Love you," Katy said as she made her way out of their bedroom and into the closet.

"Love you too," Kris called after his wife.

He fell back asleep for a couple hours, awakening to a ringing phone. He groped for the extension on the nightstand and finally answered it.

“’lo?”

"Kris, hey! What's up?"

Kris froze. He would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Adam. All of the thoughts and feelings from last night that he had tried so hard to push to the back of his head came rushing back.

"Kris, you there?" Adam asked, impatiently. Kris forced himself to recover.

"Yeah Adam, it's just early...what's up?"Adam laughed.

"It's not that early! Since when have you become a night owl? Rough night with the wife?" Adam teased. All Kris had to do was to close his eyes to see the smug look on Adam's face from the other end of the line.

"Oh shut up!" Kris grumbled which made Adam holler a laugh. Oh God, how Kris could listen to the melody of Adam's laughter till the end of time.

"So," Adam said, then paused.

"So?" Kris echoed.

"So, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd give you a call…thought maybe we could have a drink together, catch up, you know."

_Oh, I'd love to, Adam._

"Neighborhood? You're in Arkansas?"

"Yeah, had a show in Little Rock last night. You didn't know? Don't you have my tour schedule printed and attached on the fridge?" Adam once again teased, and Kris immediately thought of Adam's schedule saved on his cell phone. Damn!

"So…you coming or what?"

Kris would love nothing more than to spend some time with Adam. He could picture him now, sitting on a stool at some bar, looking as fierce as ever, his shiny black hair, laughter in his penetrating blue eyes, his body swaying to the music. He shook his head. He had to stop thinking like that!

"Adam, I'm kinda busy so I don't,-"

"Aw, come on Kris. Live a little!"

"Ok, fine," Kris said, unable to resist and if he was honest with himself, he would admit that he did not really want to resist.

"Ok, well I'll pick you up in around 6, k?"

"Yeah, I'll see ya then."

Adam hung up the phone, pleased with himself.

_I knew you'd say yes, Kris. Always so predictable!_

Adam knew that all he had to do was get Kris in the right place, the right frame of mind and he would finally give in. Give in to him. It had to be that way; that's the only way it could ever work. Adam knew if he tried to make the first move he'd only scare Kris away. He couldn't pinpoint when it had started. Maybe it was during the Idol days, maybe it was after Idol when he finally realized exactly how much he missed being with Kris, having him around all the time. All he seemed to do recently was fantasize about Kris and he had no idea, just knew that he did, and somehow he could sense Kris wanted him. But knowing his friend so well, he knew that Kris would have to come to him for something to happen. Not the other way around. He sighed and stood up, looking out at the city through the hotel window.  
"Maybe tonight..." Adam said softly.

******************************

"Thanks," Kris said as Adam bought him another drink.

"I can stay just like this and listen to music for hours," Adam said before gulping down another shot. Kris took a sip from his beer.

From the corner of his eyes, Adam watched Kris take a drink, loving how flushed Kris looked at the moment. He looked away quickly as Kris looked up from his drink, catching him staring. He turned his head and looked at the local band, performing "Midnight in Montgomery". They were pretty good actually, although Adam felt a little out of place. A country bar was not his usual spot, and the people did not fail to show how he did not belong to that place, although Adam suspected that all that was oblivious to Kris's eyes. Kris had not moved. All night he had been at a loss at what exactly to do or say. Most of the time, it was fine. Nothing was different between them; they were just best friends, acting like they always did, but sometimes, like the moment he caught Adam looking at him differently or vice versa, he felt something strange, something new, something he was not used to, not at all. He finished his beer and looked over at Adam. He swallowed hard, unable to deny his attraction. He gave himself a brief moment to let his eyes roam Adam's body through the leather jacket. It was not enough though. Suddenly Adam turned his face to face Kris. They both looked at each other intently, waiting for the other to say something. Kris leant a little closer toward Adam, not really knowing what he was doing. Nervously he licked his lips. Adam tilted his head up so that they were face to face. Both of them were breathing hard, their eyes darting from each other's to their mouths. The air between them crackled with unspoken sexual tension. Their bodies swayed, slowly moving closer, each one wanting the other to make the first move, but not really knowing how. Suddenly Kris's cell phone rang, breaking the spell that had been cast over them. He looked away and quickly moved to answer it.

"Katy, hi baby!" Kris said with a little too much enthusiasm. He failed to catch Adam's angry look as he averted his eyes back at the band who had finished Alan Jackson's song and was walking off the stage. Soon a young redhead woman was up on the stage.

"You got the promotion?! That's great, I knew you would! I'm with Adam at a bar nearby...yeah, I'll be home soon....OK, love you too."

Kris bit his lip as he looked over at Adam, who was once again looking out at the stage.

"You ready to go?" Adam asked, turning around suddenly with a smile on his face. Kris nodded, not knowing what to say, to do, and they walked out of the bar.

As Adam drove them back to Kris's place, neither spoke a word.

"Thanks Adam, I had a great time."

"Yeah, me too buddy."

"Dude, you will be around for a day or two, right?" Kris asked as Adam pulled up the driveway.

"Yeah, sure," Adam replied with a smile. Kris wanted to see him again and soon.

"Cool, then see you bro," Kris said as he got out of the car. Katy appeared outside, meeting Kris with a kiss. Adam started his car, but before he had a chance to drive away, Katy stopped him.

"Adam, hi!"

"Hi Katy. You look lovely. Have you done something with your hair?" Adam asked.

"Yeah! I changed the color a little bit. You like?"

"Very. You look beautiful!"

"I should have married you instead of this one," Katy said motioning over her shoulder at her husband.

"Oh I would love you but there is a small problem, honey," Adam replied with a grin, and Katy sighed dramatically.

"All the good men are either taken or gay."

"Hey!" Kris protested playfully.

"What?" Katy said teasingly, "You are a good man and you are taken, aren't you?" she said and showed her left hand and her wedding ring," Hey Adam, You don't have to leave yet, come inside!"

Adam looked quickly at Kris, but Kris's eyes revealed nothing. He smiled at Katy, "Sure, why not?!"

He could not help but like Katy. She really was so sweet and kind, but he also couldn't help being jealous of her.

Katy told them both about her promotion and her new job and how excited she was. Her enthusiasm was contagious and they were both very happy for her. Katy monopolized most of the conversation and although Kris and Adam chimed in at the right times and answered her questions, neither spoke a word to each other.

"So Kris," Katy continued, "There is one bad part to all this."

"What's that?"

"I have to go away on a business trip for a week, starting Monday to work on part of the project."

"Aw, baby..." Kris started, taking her hand, "Where are you going?"

"Chicago, but I'll call you everyday and I'm sure you'll find stuff to do without me," she said, smiling, although she wasn't too happy about leaving her husband for a week.

"You can spend more time with Adam for instance now that he is here," she said, smiling at Adam. Kris glanced at Adam, and they both smiled, each trying his hardest to get back his normal ease with the other's company.

"I sure am going to miss you baby!" Kris said giving Katy a hug.

Adam stood up.

"It's pretty late and I better be going now. I'll talk to you guys later. Katy, congratulations again!"

"Bye Adam, thank you," Katy called after Adam as he let himself out.

"Kris, is something wrong? You seem like you're somewhere else," Katy asked when Adam left.

"If you're that upset about my leaving, I can see if I can make the trip shorter."

Kris shook his head and took her hand in his.

"No. No I don't want you to do that. Yes I will miss you, but this is too important for you to jeopardize. I know how much this means to you. I'm sorry for seeming a little distant. I guess I'm still tired from the tour."

Katy curled up next to him, wrapping her arms around him. Kris leaned down to kiss her lips, lightly at first. As his kisses soon grew deeper, pushing his tongue into Katy's mouth, she moaned lightly, shifting her body and pulling Kris down on top of her. He continued kissing her, enjoying the feeling of her sweet mouth, her soft lips against his.

Kris suddenly realized that it was Adam's face that he saw in his mind, it was Adam that he was touching and kissing in his head. He abruptly pulled away, looking at a very confused Katy.

"I…I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, catching his breath, trying to think of an excuse as to why he had stopped, "I'm just really too tired right now, I-"

"Kris, baby, it's OK. I'm pretty tired myself. We can put on a movie and we can just sit here together and veg out, OK?" Katy said and Kris nodded his head. He leaned over, running his hands through his hair, as Katy went in search of a movie.

_Stop it! Stop thinking of him!_

As Katy came back in and popped a movie in the VCR, Kris sat back up. She sat down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
"I love you Kris."

Kris kissed her hair and pulled her close.

"I love you too, K," Kris said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing the truth is not always easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My very first Kradam fiction

The first thing Kris would feel were hands; hands roaming over his body, touching, caressing, stroking. Then lips, soft wet hungry lips pressing against his neck, his chin, his mouth, so sweet, that mouth; but whose was it? Whose hands were bringing him closer and closer to sheer pleasure, quickening his breathing, heating his blood? Whose mouth kissed him so madly, so softly, so deeply, making him yearn for more? He would try to open his eyes to see his mysterious lover, only to find out that he couldn’t. It was not the first time Kris had that dream. No, in fact he had that dream before, so many times, and quite regularly and it would always end that same way. When he couldn't see the face if his lover, he'd wake up, panting, wanting more, needing more, without any success at discovering who it was in his dreams. This time, however, Kris felt something new, something strange, something startling. This time, the kisses and the touches abruptly stopped and Kris felt fingers on the back of his head, pulling at something. What was it? A blindfold? Kris tensed and opened his eyes as the blindfold was pulled off.

He woke up with a start, sweating and breathing hard.

_It can't be!_

Kris glanced over at his wife, Katy, who was soundly asleep next to him. He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He splashed some water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He did not like what he saw, not one bit. He leaned over the sink, pressing his forehead against the cold mirror.

"Adam," Kris whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, trying hard to block out the last image of his dream. It had been Adam, his best friend who he had seen when the blindfold was lifted. Adam's hands on him, Adam’s body pressed against his, Adam's mouth on his. Kris shook his head, willing to forget, wanting to be untrue, but when he opened his eyes again, he knew that wasn't the case.

Since the day they met, Adam has always been his ultimate fantasy, the forbidden passion he couldn't have. Except in his dreams, but God, how he wanted him! How had that happened? When had he started having feelings for his best friend? Where had he gone wrong? Kris stood still, with his eyes closed again, and once again pictured Adam. Adam's mouth on his, kissing him deeply, Adam's mouth on his neck, on his chest, nibbling his flesh, swirling his tongue all over his skin, moving slowly down his body, past his navel and....

"Stop it!" Kris hissed, stopping his imagination to go any further, "What’s wrong with you, Kris? He is your friend, you are straight!" Kris said to his reflection in the mirror. He had to stop thinking about Adam that way, before things got any worse, before he would do something he knew he would later regret. He couldn't think about Adam anymore. He was sure he would go crazy if he did. He knew he would never act on those feelings, ever!

He crept back into bed and under the covers and reached for Katy, pulling her into his arms. He softly kissed her forehead, "I love you," he whispered fiercely, wanting to convince her, or rather himself. He closed his eyes, praying he would not have that dream again, not again, not anymore.

******************************

Kris slowly opened his eyes the next morning to see Katy looking at him with kind eyes and an affectionate smile.

"Good morning baby," she whispered, as she lifted her head from the pillow and leant over, kissing Kris softly on the lips.

Kris kissed her back, trying to pull her closer and into his arms.

“I don’t want you to go,” he whined, smoothing his hand through the tangles of her hair. Katy laughed, kissing Kris again. Oh, how Kris loved that laughter, rich and beautiful. It always made him smile.

"Silly, you know I have to go to work," Katy said as she tried to squirm out of Kris’s embrace.

"Not quite yet," Kris whispered, smiling, as he firmed his hold on Katy’s body and kissed her again and deeper, slipping his tongue into Katy’s mouth. She sighed, loving the feel of her husband, as she wrapped her arms around Kris’s neck and kissed him back. After a few moments and when things started to get hotter between them, she finally stopped him.

"Kris, I really have to start getting ready," Katy said, standing up, “Or I will be late…again!”

Kris sighed, remembering how the week before he had succeeded in persuading Katy to stay in bed with him just a little bit longer. One thing had led to another, and Katy was late for work, something her manager was not very fond of and he had not failed to let her know about that.

"I know. I'll see you tonight then, babe. Oh and I almost forgot, good luck!"

"You remembered!" Katy said with a bright smile on her face. Kris was the most loving and thoughtful man she had ever known and for being that lucky, Katy was always grateful.

"Of course I did baby! I know you'll get the promotion today. We have to celebrate tonight," Kris said reaching up to tickle her. She laughed and playfully swatted his hand away.

"Promises, promises!", Katy teased with a wink, "I really really have to go now or I'll be late. Love you," Katy said as she made her way out of their bedroom and into the closet.

"Love you too," Kris called after his wife.

He fell back asleep for a couple hours, awakening to a ringing phone. He groped for the extension on the nightstand and finally answered it.

“’lo?”

"Kris, hey! What's up?"

Kris froze. He would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Adam. All of the thoughts and feelings from last night that he had tried so hard to push to the back of his head came rushing back.

"Kris, you there?" Adam asked, impatiently. Kris forced himself to recover.

"Yeah Adam, it's just early...what's up?"Adam laughed.

"It's not that early! Since when have you become a night owl? Rough night with the wife?" Adam teased. All Kris had to do was to close his eyes to see the smug look on Adam's face from the other end of the line.

"Oh shut up!" Kris grumbled which made Adam holler a laugh. Oh God, how Kris could listen to the melody of Adam's laughter till the end of time.

"So," Adam said, then paused.

"So?" Kris echoed.

"So, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd give you a call…thought maybe we could have a drink together, catch up, you know."

_Oh, I'd love to, Adam._

"Neighborhood? You're in Arkansas?"

"Yeah, had a show in Little Rock last night. You didn't know? Don't you have my tour schedule printed and attached on the fridge?" Adam once again teased, and Kris immediately thought of Adam's schedule saved on his cell phone. Damn!

"So…you coming or what?"

Kris would love nothing more than to spend some time with Adam. He could picture him now, sitting on a stool at some bar, looking as fierce as ever, his shiny black hair, laughter in his penetrating blue eyes, his body swaying to the music. He shook his head. He had to stop thinking like that!

"Adam, I'm kinda busy so I don't,-"

"Aw, come on Kris. Live a little!"

"Ok, fine," Kris said, unable to resist and if he was honest with himself, he would admit that he did not really want to resist.

"Ok, well I'll pick you up in around 6, k?"

"Yeah, I'll see ya then."

Adam hung up the phone, pleased with himself.

_I knew you'd say yes, Kris. Always so predictable!_

Adam knew that all he had to do was get Kris in the right place, the right frame of mind and he would finally give in. Give in to him. It had to be that way; that's the only way it could ever work. Adam knew if he tried to make the first move he'd only scare Kris away. He couldn't pinpoint when it had started. Maybe it was during the Idol days, maybe it was after Idol when he finally realized exactly how much he missed being with Kris, having him around all the time. All he seemed to do recently was fantasize about Kris and he had no idea, just knew that he did, and somehow he could sense Kris wanted him. But knowing his friend so well, he knew that Kris would have to come to him for something to happen. Not the other way around. He sighed and stood up, looking out at the city through the hotel window.  
"Maybe tonight..." Adam said softly.

******************************

"Thanks," Kris said as Adam bought him another drink.

"I can stay just like this and listen to music for hours," Adam said before gulping down another shot. Kris took a sip from his beer.

From the corner of his eyes, Adam watched Kris take a drink, loving how flushed Kris looked at the moment. He looked away quickly as Kris looked up from his drink, catching him staring. He turned his head and looked at the local band, performing "Midnight in Montgomery". They were pretty good actually, although Adam felt a little out of place. A country bar was not his usual spot, and the people did not fail to show how he did not belong to that place, although Adam suspected that all that was oblivious to Kris's eyes. Kris had not moved. All night he had been at a loss at what exactly to do or say. Most of the time, it was fine. Nothing was different between them; they were just best friends, acting like they always did, but sometimes, like the moment he caught Adam looking at him differently or vice versa, he felt something strange, something new, something he was not used to, not at all. He finished his beer and looked over at Adam. He swallowed hard, unable to deny his attraction. He gave himself a brief moment to let his eyes roam Adam's body through the leather jacket. It was not enough though. Suddenly Adam turned his face to face Kris. They both looked at each other intently, waiting for the other to say something. Kris leant a little closer toward Adam, not really knowing what he was doing. Nervously he licked his lips. Adam tilted his head up so that they were face to face. Both of them were breathing hard, their eyes darting from each other's to their mouths. The air between them crackled with unspoken sexual tension. Their bodies swayed, slowly moving closer, each one wanting the other to make the first move, but not really knowing how. Suddenly Kris's cell phone rang, breaking the spell that had been cast over them. He looked away and quickly moved to answer it.

"Katy, hi baby!" Kris said with a little too much enthusiasm. He failed to catch Adam's angry look as he averted his eyes back at the band who had finished Alan Jackson's song and was walking off the stage. Soon a young redhead woman was up on the stage.

"You got the promotion?! That's great, I knew you would! I'm with Adam at a bar nearby...yeah, I'll be home soon....OK, love you too."

Kris bit his lip as he looked over at Adam, who was once again looking out at the stage.

"You ready to go?" Adam asked, turning around suddenly with a smile on his face. Kris nodded, not knowing what to say, to do, and they walked out of the bar.

As Adam drove them back to Kris's place, neither spoke a word.

"Thanks Adam, I had a great time."

"Yeah, me too buddy."

"Dude, you will be around for a day or two, right?" Kris asked as Adam pulled up the driveway.

"Yeah, sure," Adam replied with a smile. Kris wanted to see him again and soon.

"Cool, then see you bro," Kris said as he got out of the car. Katy appeared outside, meeting Kris with a kiss. Adam started his car, but before he had a chance to drive away, Katy stopped him.

"Adam, hi!"

"Hi Katy. You look lovely. Have you done something with your hair?" Adam asked.

"Yeah! I changed the color a little bit. You like?"

"Very. You look beautiful!"

"I should have married you instead of this one," Katy said motioning over her shoulder at her husband.

"Oh I would love you but there is a small problem, honey," Adam replied with a grin, and Katy sighed dramatically.

"All the good men are either taken or gay."

"Hey!" Kris protested playfully.

"What?" Katy said teasingly, "You are a good man and you are taken, aren't you?" she said and showed her left hand and her wedding ring," Hey Adam, You don't have to leave yet, come inside!"

Adam looked quickly at Kris, but Kris's eyes revealed nothing. He smiled at Katy, "Sure, why not?!"

He could not help but like Katy. She really was so sweet and kind, but he also couldn't help being jealous of her.

Katy told them both about her promotion and her new job and how excited she was. Her enthusiasm was contagious and they were both very happy for her. Katy monopolized most of the conversation and although Kris and Adam chimed in at the right times and answered her questions, neither spoke a word to each other.

"So Kris," Katy continued, "There is one bad part to all this."

"What's that?"

"I have to go away on a business trip for a week, starting Monday to work on part of the project."

"Aw, baby..." Kris started, taking her hand, "Where are you going?"

"Chicago, but I'll call you everyday and I'm sure you'll find stuff to do without me," she said, smiling, although she wasn't too happy about leaving her husband for a week.

"You can spend more time with Adam for instance now that he is here," she said, smiling at Adam. Kris glanced at Adam, and they both smiled, each trying his hardest to get back his normal ease with the other's company.

"I sure am going to miss you baby!" Kris said giving Katy a hug.

Adam stood up.

"It's pretty late and I better be going now. I'll talk to you guys later. Katy, congratulations again!"

"Bye Adam, thank you," Katy called after Adam as he let himself out.

"Kris, is something wrong? You seem like you're somewhere else," Katy asked when Adam left.

"If you're that upset about my leaving, I can see if I can make the trip shorter."

Kris shook his head and took her hand in his.

"No. No I don't want you to do that. Yes I will miss you, but this is too important for you to jeopardize. I know how much this means to you. I'm sorry for seeming a little distant. I guess I'm still tired from the tour."

Katy curled up next to him, wrapping her arms around him. Kris leaned down to kiss her lips, lightly at first. As his kisses soon grew deeper, pushing his tongue into Katy's mouth, she moaned lightly, shifting her body and pulling Kris down on top of her. He continued kissing her, enjoying the feeling of her sweet mouth, her soft lips against his.

Kris suddenly realized that it was Adam's face that he saw in his mind, it was Adam that he was touching and kissing in his head. He abruptly pulled away, looking at a very confused Katy.

"I…I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, catching his breath, trying to think of an excuse as to why he had stopped, "I'm just really too tired right now, I-"

"Kris, baby, it's OK. I'm pretty tired myself. We can put on a movie and we can just sit here together and veg out, OK?" Katy said and Kris nodded his head. He leaned over, running his hands through his hair, as Katy went in search of a movie.

_Stop it! Stop thinking of him!_

As Katy came back in and popped a movie in the VCR, Kris sat back up. She sat down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
"I love you Kris."

Kris kissed her hair and pulled her close.

"I love you too, K," Kris said softly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing the truth is not always easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My very first Kradam fiction

"Kris, where have you been? I've been trying to call you all day."

Those were the first words Katy said over the phone when Kris called her from Adam's hotel room later that day. He felt horrible and so low about what he was doing. Lying to his wife, betraying her trust, cheating on her, what kind of a husband was he? But as hard as Kris tried, he couldn't seem to stop it.

"I…I went to Adam's hotel last night and we...hung out. I'm still there now. I'm sorry baby; I just haven't been home at all."

Katy laughed.

"Awww, baby, you don't have to apologize for spending some time with your best friend! I was just worried, that's all."

Kris winced. There he was, betraying her in every imaginable way, and there she was, being all worried about him. If only Katy knew what he had been doing behind her back, if only she knew about her asshole of a husband. Guilt was killing him.

"How's everything in Chicago?" Kris asked, wanting desperately to change the subject.

"Oh, great!” Katy said excitedly, “Listen, baby, we have another meeting in about five minutes. I can’t really talk to you right now. Tell Adam I said hello. I love you, Kris."

Kris shut his eyes tight and took a deep breath.

"I love you too," he said softly.

After hanging up the phone, he walked back towards the small living area of the hotel room and looked at his best friend, his lover, who was lolling on the couch watching MTV. When Adam looked up and saw Kris approaching him with that disturbed look on his face, he opened his arms and beckoned Kris closer with one finger. Helpless to resist, he walked closer until he stood in front of him. Adam ran his hands up Kris's sides and pulled him down into his arms. Kris lay happily wrapped in Adam's warm embrace, Adam's chin resting on his head.

"How's Katy?" Adam asked softly.

"Fine."

They were both silent for a few moments.

"I know you don't want to talk about this Kris, and we don't have to. Are you hungry?"

Kris laughed, "Always thinking of your stomach?"

Adam ran his hands down Kris's back and rested them at his sides.

“Well not always...."

With these words, he began tickling Kris.

"Stop!" Kris yelled laughing, trying to break free of Adam's arms. Adam shifted and pinned him to the couch, his body now on top of Kris's.

"Oh my God, Adam! Stop, please!" He said desperately, trying to stop laughing and catch his breath. Finally Adam quit. He leaned down and kissed Kris, who wound his arms around his neck and kissed him back. After a few minutes, Adam pulled away.

"You keep kissing me like that and we may never eat again," he said, smiling devilishly.

Kris laughed, "Well get off me or we're not gonna be able to get any food!"

That night Kris went home, only to gather some clothes and necessary items so he could stay with Adam. He knew he could invite Adam over to stay with him until Katy got back home, but he could not bear the idea of lying with Adam in the same bed he shared with Katy. He needed to be as far away as that house as possible, at least when he was with Adam. Once he got home, Kris called Katy again and let her know where he was going to be. When he heard her voice again, waves of guilt washed over him. But one look at Adam, one touch of his hand was enough to wipe away anything and everything else but him.

The next two days passed quicker than either of them wanted. They knew that once Katy came home, things would be different. But, hell, they were going to be different anyway. As Kris lay in Adam's arms night after night, he began to realize that he never really wanted things to end with Katy’s return. The thought of not touching Adam, of not kissing him, of not just being close to him was beginning to sound unbearable. Adam felt the same. Sometimes, he would watch Kris sleep, unable to do so himself, for fear that when he woke up Kris would not be there.

**********************

It was about two days before Katy was due to return home, and Kris had managed to convince Adam to spend some time with him at the hotel gym. When they walked out of the gym and into Adam’s room, it was dark out.

"You thirsty?" Adam yelled, walking inside his room.

"Very," Kris replied, following him and closed the door.

"I'm gonna go catch a shower," Adam said as he headed into the bathroom. Kris drank down a full glass of ice water as he watched him go. As he set his glass down, he got a wonderful idea. As he made his way to the bathroom, he removed his shirt, his shoes, finally his boxers, as he stepped into the bathroom.

While Adam's head was under the water, Kris slid open the glass door and stepped inside with him. Adam stood with his eyes closed, letting the water pour over his face. Kris found himself incredibly turned on by that sight. He stepped forward and pressed his mouth to the older man's, wrapping his arms around his back. Adam jumped in surprise, but quickly kissed him back and pulled him closer. Water and steam surrounded them as they continued to make out, their tongues searching each other's mouths. Adam pushed Kris against the wall of the shower and kissed him hard, his hands roaming Kris's body.

"Oh Adam," he moaned. "Oh please, don't stop," he whispered as Adam teased him, touching him everywhere except where he most wanted it. Adam began sucking Kris's neck, his hands stroking Kris's hips. He slowly worked his way down Kris's chest, pausing to suck on both of his nipples, going lower and licking his stomach.

"What do you want Kris?" He asked coyly, his lips still against Kris's flesh. Adam's hot mouth on him was almost more than he could bear.

"I want you...," he begged slowly, "I want your mouth...your mouth on me, touching me...licking me...sucking me...please....," Kris whispered, breathing deeply between his words. Without another word, Adam grasped Kris's hips in his hands, and took his hot throbbing cock into his mouth.

"Oh God Adam...oh fuck...oh that feels good," he breathed, his hands on Adam's head, tugging at his hair. Adam sucked him hard, reveling in the power and control he had over Kris. He swirled his tongue over and under Kris's shaft as Kris began pushing himself in and out of Adam's mouth. Adam sucked harder, Kris pushed faster, loving the feel of Adam's throat against the tip of him.

"Adam...oh God…Adam oh...," Kris yelled as he came, his hands tightening in Adam's hair, his head rolling back and forth against the shower wall.

After Kris recovered, he smiled wickedly at Adam as he reached for some liquid soap. Pouring it into his hands he moved them slowly back and forth, creating lather as he leaned closer to his lover. He kissed him then, slipping his tongue between his lips. Adam pulled their wet bodies close together as Kris began running his soapy hands down Adam's chest, pausing at his stomach before taking his cock in his hands. Adam clutched him closer and kissed him deeper.

"Oh Kris...mmm...oh yes," he moaned in between kisses. He closed his eyes as Kris stroked him, moving his hands up and down, softly, roughly, and everywhere in between. Suddenly Kris's mouth left his and was on his neck, his stomach, moving lower. Adam's head fell back against the wall of the shower, his eyes closed; his breath coming in short gasps. He moaned when he felt Kris's lips touch the tip of him. His fingers slipped into Kris's hair as he felt him begin to slowly lick the length of him.

"Kris! Oh God...," Adam yelled as he felt Kris's hot mouth surround him. Kris sucked him hard, moving from the tip of him to the base, his hot tongue scraping against Adam's sensitive skin. Kris reached behind Adam's legs and pulled him closer, taking all of him into his mouth. Adam groaned; his body tensing. He came seconds later, calling Kris's name.

Kris stood up and kissed Adam softly on the lips, letting him taste himself. Adam smiled, weakly, and reached to turn off the shower. Hand in hand, they made their way to the bad and collapsed in each other's arms, falling asleep almost instantaneously from happiness and exhaustion.

Kris woke up a few hours later and looked at his lover's face, bathed in soft moonlight.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his hand caressing Adam's cheek. His fingers found their way to his lips and slowly he traced the outline of them.

"So soft...so sweet...," He pressed his own lips to the older man's mouth, unable to get enough of him. When he pulled back, Adam awoke and smiled at Kris. They stared into each other's eyes, their hands softly caressing each other's shoulders and arms.

"Kris...I love you," Adam whispered, his eyes shining. Without missing a beat, Kris replied, "I love you too Adam."

They gently kissed each other again.

However, when they broke apart, what they had just admitted settled in. Kris looked away quickly but slowly returned his eyes to Adam's.

"So what do we do now?"He whispered.

Adam shook his head, "I don't know."

They pulled each other close. It would be easier this way. No words; only touching, kissing, loving. Adam's lips found Kris's neck and he kissed him, slowly heating Kris's blood as his tongue began swirling over his flesh. Kris leaned back, giving Adam better access to his neck. Adam moved upwards, dragging his lips across Kris's jawbone, loving the taste of him. Kris turned his head and his lips captured Adam's in a passionate kiss. He pushed his tongue between Adam's lips, tasting him. Their hands roamed each other's bodies, unable to get enough of one another.

Pulling apart after many moments to breathe, Adam looked deeply into Kris's eyes, his hands on his shoulders.

"Kris," he started, his voice ragged, "I want you to," He paused, looked away. He wasn't sure how to ask. It was not something he was used to. He had always been the one on top, the one in control and he was about to let Kris be in control of him and his body, "Make love to me," he said in a husky voice, his eyes never leaving Kris's. Kris's brown eyes widened in surprise and concern, understanding what it was Adam wanted from him. But Adam didn't fail to catch the flash of lust. Kris moved closer.

"Are you sure Adam?" He asked softly, brushing locks of black hair out of Adam's beautiful face. Adam moaned softly; he had never wanted something more in his life.

"Yes please...oh God, Kris...I need to feel you inside me...please."

Kris kissed him again, hard. Their tongues entangled, their arms surrounding each other, trying to get as close as possible. After many hot wet kisses, Adam broke away and looked deeply into his lover's eyes once more before turning and reaching for something in the nightstand. Kris's eyes widened as he saw Adam squeeze some lube out onto his hand. He smiled slightly, though his breathing was very shallow.

"Always so prepared!" He teased softly. Adam blushed.

"I wanted to be ready just in case. I mean… you never know when the occasion may arise," He said and kissed Kris, then as his hands slowly started rubbing Kris's hard cock, spreading the lube all over it. Kris moaned, loving the feel of Adam's hands, but reminding himself to not lose control and wait for more. Adam positioned himself on his hands and knees as Kris came up behind him. Taking the lube from Adam, he put some on his finger and asked Adam once again if he was sure. Adam nodded emphatically, unable to speak from anticipation. Kris pushed a finger inside of him, slowly working and opening Adam's body. Adam groaned softly in pleasure. After a few moments, they both grew restless and ready for more.

"You ready lover?"

"Yes...please," he begged. He kissed the back of Adam's neck as he slowly began pushing himself inside of him. He didn't want to go to fast, because he didn't want to cause Adam more pain than he knew he would already feel. But God, the feeling of Adam surrounding him felt so damn good! Adam gasped in pain, biting down on his lip.

"I'm sorry baby," Kris whispered, slowing his actions.

Adam shook his head, "No, it's ok," he whispered raggedly, "Don't...stop...please."

Kris pushed further, and as he did, Adam's pain slowly changed to pleasure. Pleasure he had never felt before.

"Oh God, Kris," he yelled loudly.

Kris began moving in and out of his lover's body, loving the feel of Adam's hot body around him. He reached his hand down to Adam's hard cock and began stroking him swiftly, as he continued to pump in and out of him.

"Oh fuck Adam...oh you feel so damn good!"

Sensations he had never thought were possible invaded his senses, blinding him to everything but the feel of himself inside of Adam. Adam pushed back against Kris, wanting more. He never knew anything could feel like this: so complete, and so amazing. Their bodies moved urgently against each other, glistening with sweat. Kris stroked Adam harder as he continued thrusting into his body.

"Oh Adam," Kris choked out, "Oh Adam I love you," he breathed as he came hard, realizing that it was not just their bodies that were joined, it was their hearts and their souls. Adam felt Kris explode inside of him and he heard his words of love. His heart melted at the same moment his body erupted in pleasure. He screamed Kris's name and moaned aloud his love for him.

They lay still afterwards, catching their breath, and waiting for their heart rates to return to normal. Eventually, Adam turned around in Kris's arms to face him. Neither knew what to do next. They hadn't expected this; this connection that was deeper than any they had ever felt before; this love that had captured both of their hearts in such a tight grip.

Adam spoke first, "Kris," he started slowly, "I...I never meant to fall in love with you," Tears filled his eyes, "But I can't stop it now. It's so strong. Kris, I've never felt this way in my life. Like if,-"

"If we're not together, you'll break into pieces?" Kris asked softly, interrupting him. Adam said nothing, only stared at him.  
"I feel it too Adam. I've felt myself falling for days, but I ignored it, pushed it aside. But I can't now and I don't want to. I love you Adam."

He leaned forward and kissed him softly, moving from his lips to kiss away his tears. Adam smiled through his tears and looked at Kris with something akin to wonder in his big blue eyes.

"You really love me?" He asked softly.

Kris smiled, nodding, "Yes Adam, I really love you...with all my heart."

He pulled Adam close and held him tightly.

"I love you too, Kris." Adam whispered, yawning. He fell asleep quickly, feeling safe and secure in Kris's strong arms. Kris realized then, as he lay there, how desperate Adam was, had always been, for love and now that he had it, how scared he was of losing it. But he didn't know what to do with this situation. Everything was so new, so different.

As he watched Adam sleep, he smiled. He looks so innocent, so vulnerable, Kris thought, and so alone. His smile faded. Under the mask of confident Adam always managed to wear, he had always been alone and fragile, never really had anyone special. While he was on top of his game on stage, in his personal life Adam was always lonely and sad, too afraid to be attached to someone and get hurt. So he would have sex with people without getting emotionally attached, unless he was sure the person he was with in a relationship could not, would not hurt him. Adam always knew Kris would love him, would be there for him, at least as his best friend, without intentionally do anything to hurt him. Kris’s heart ached for his best friend, his lover.

"That's why you wanted this, isn't it?" He whispered, running his hand over Adam's face and through his hair, "You may not even realize it yourself, but you wanted more than just sex. You wanted love. Oh, Adam!" He stopped, feeling his voice begin to waver. Emotions were running through his mind, his hear, strong, conflicting emotions. The two of them had always been so close, more than just best friends, something deeper, but not until that moment had Kris realized just how deep. He pulled his gaze away from Adam's sleeping face and looked up at the ceiling.

"Love," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. That's what it had always been. He had never realized it for what it was before.

He had not just fallen in love with Adam. It had happened so long ago. He could not even pinpoint when, but it had taken the new turn in their relationship for it to finally surface.

He wondered if Adam knew. Had he always known? Was he only playing sly and manipulative when in fact he had been sweet and caring? Had he used sex to trap Kris? Kris sighed and silently admonished himself. He shook his head. No one could have faked the look Adam had given him when he had apologized for falling in love. That look had torn at Kris's heart, and no one could have faked the look he had had in his eyes when Kris had admitted his love as well. He had looked so surprised, so amazed.

Unable to sleep, he lay still, listening to Adam's even breathing. Eventually his troubled thoughts drifted to Katy.

"What am I going to do?"

His thoughts drifted back to Katy. She loved Kris, she trusted him, and hell Kris loved her too, but not like that, not like that at all. Carefully, he crept out of bed and let himself out onto the balcony. He leaned on the railing and dropped his head into his hands. He was going to have to make a decision and soon. Katy would be home in two days. But it was not the decision that would be hard. One glance through the glass doors at the sleeping figure inside, and he knew what his decision would be. It was what would happen after he made it.

But all of these feelings and sensations were still so fresh, so raw. He had never experienced love like that before. Love so consuming and encompassing that it surrounded Kris completely. And now he did not know how he had lived without it for so long. But....

"Oh God," he whispered, confused beyond belief. Katy, his family, his job, the media, the fans.... These thoughts hit him with lightning speed. His head was clouded with so many thoughts and worries, yet one thing remained crystal clear...Adam. It was obvious to him that he wanted and needed Adam, and he was determined not to give him up. He would not.

Adam awoke and reached out for Kris. When he came up with nothing, he panicked. He sat up in bed and frantically looked around.

"Kris?" He asked, his voice sounding small. He stood up and looked around wildly.

"Kris?" He called again, his voice rising with his fear. Alone. He did not want to be alone anymore. His feelings for Kris were so strong, so potent that they made his heart ache. He never imagined it was possible to love like that, and Kris had said he loved him back. Tears formed and fell.

"Then why did you leave?" He whispered. A small movement on the balcony caught his eye. He rushed over and saw his love, his life, wrapped in a blanket, gazing out at the night sky. He almost collapsed in relief.

He went out onto the balcony and sat next to Kris, trying to hide his recent tears.

"Adam? Did I wake you, I,-" He stopped and looked more closely at him. He took his chin in his hand and tipped his face up to meet his eyes.

"Adam, were you crying?" He asked, concerned. Adam pulled his bottom lip through his teeth and looked away.

"Adam, why were you crying?" Kris asked once again, turning Adam's head so he would have to face him.

"I thought you'd gone," Adam said very softly, trying not to meet Kris's piercing brown eyes. Kris shifted his body, pulling Adam closer and draping his own legs over Adam's.

"Why would you think I would leave?" He asked quietly, his fingers idly tugging on Adam's hair.

"I don’t know," said Adam, sounding dejected. Kris waited. He knew Adam would give him a reason if he was patient. Adam did not like long silences. After a few minutes of Kris petting him and saying nothing, Adam spoke up.

"I thought maybe you'd realized what you were doing and,-" he stopped, searching for the right words. Again, Kris waited, "And maybe you'd realized that this is wrong and you wanted to leave before you had to,-"

"Adam stop," Kris interrupted, unable to listen to his pathetic ramblings anymore. It was breaking his heart. He took Adam's hands in his and waited for Adam to meet his eyes.

"Adam, baby...I know exactly what I'm doing."

Adam closed his eyes and shook his head, "No Kris. You think that you do, but you don't really want this. I know you, I,-"

"Stop," Kris said more forcefully. He sighed, "Adam, I've been thinking this entire situation through over and over. It's confusing the hell out of me, and it scares me to death. But Adam, there is one thing that I'm sure of."

He waited for him to ask.

"What is it?" Adam whispered.

"Love," Kris replied, his face softening with a smile, "I've never felt love like this before...ever. When we're together, everything is perfect. You make me so happy and...I know this will be hard and it is scary, but Adam...I'm not going to leave you, I can't."

He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Adam's, hoping to make him feel his love, more than he could express in words. When they pulled apart, Adam's eyes still told Kris he did not completely believe him but...there was hope. He stood up, pulling Adam with him. He took his hand and led him back inside to bed.

They lay down side by side and Kris drew him close.

"I love you Adam," he whispered, planting soft kisses over his eyes, his cheeks, and finally his lips, "Kiss me," Kris said softly against his mouth.

He did. He wrapped his arms around Kris's neck and his hand slid up through his soft curls. They kissed slowly at first; just sampling each other's lips, no hurry, remember everything. Kris licked Adam's bottom lip and drew it between his teeth, nibbling gently. Adam moaned slightly and opened his mouth to Kris's tongue. They met and slid over one another. Kris explored his mouth, taking his breath away. Adam returned the favor and touched every inch of Kris's mouth with his skilled tongue.

Eventually they broke apart, panting, hands in each other's hair. Kris leaned forward and rested his forehead against Adam's. His hand slid down Adam's chest and began stroking his erection. He watched as Adam's eyes clouded with pleasure and closed. His mouth fell slightly open, his tongue licking his lips. He looked so hot. It was too much for Kris to bear. Hungrily, he crushed his lips to Adam's and began devouring his mouth, wanting to taste him, all of him. Kris pressed his body as close to Adam as possible. Their sweaty chests sealed together, their arms around each other, their hard cocks rubbing against each other painfully. They moaned. Adam began planting butterfly kisses over Kris's jaw line and his neck.

"I love you," Adam whispered fiercely, wanting Kris to know how much he did love him, and how much he needed him. Kris heard the desperation in his voice and wanted more than anything to ease his pain. He knew what he wanted then, knew what he would do to convince Adam of his love. Give himself to him, completely. They lay side by side and Kris shifted slightly, and pulled Adam on top of him. He took Adam's face in his hands and pulled him back so he could look into those big blue eyes. Perfection gazed down at Kris, pure and simple. His black hair was tussled, sexily framing his face. His blue eyes shone with passion, lust, and above all, love. His lips were red and swollen from so many kisses. At that moment, he embodied passion, temptation, desire. He was everything, and Kris wanted to give him more.

"I want you Adam," Kris whispered raggedly. Their eyes locked on one another.

"Kris,-"

"I want you inside me Adam," he said hungrily. His body was getting hotter and hotter. Still he could see resistance in Adam's eyes, "Adam, please," Kris begged now, shifting upwards to kiss Adam again, "Take me Adam, make love to me...make me yours."

Adam surrendered. His lips crashed passionately against Kris's, searching, tasting, finding. He moved down to suck on Kris's neck. Kris's hands tangled in his hair.

"Mmm, Adam...yes!"

Adam moved lower, drawing each of Kris's nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling over the hot flesh. His hands grasped Kris's hips as he plunged his tongue in and out of Kris's navel. And finally his lips grazed Kris's hard cock. Kris moaned his name and pulled tightly on his dark locks. Adam traced the length of him with his tongue, before sucking him slowly. He moved his mouth from the tip to the base, engulfing him all. Kris thrust his hips upward, pushing himself further into Adam's hot mouth. When Adam pulled back, he looked up at Kris intently, his blue eyes blazing. Slowly, never breaking eye contact with his lover, Adam reached for a pillow and pushed it under Kris's midsection. But once more he questioned his lover with a look. Kris was desperate, he needed it now. He nodded his head furiously.

"Yes, yes, yes...now, please!"

Adam reached for the previously discarded lube and quickly began working it over his hardened cock. As Kris had done with him, he first inserted his finger into him, preparing Kris for what was to come.

After a few moments though, Adam took Kris's hips in his hands and slowly began pushing himself inside. Adam's mouth fell open in pure bliss. He grasped Kris's hips tighter, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back. Kris bit down on his lip to keep from screaming in pain. His fingers dug into Adam's arms, but Adam didn't seem to notice. But as Adam buried himself completely inside Kris, everything changed. Adam's eyes flew open and he looked down to meet his lover's gaze.

"Kris."

"Adam."

Adam moved his cock slowly out of Kris and then back in.

"Oh sweet God Adam...do that again!"

He did, again and again. Kris groped for Adam's hands, found them, and intertwined their fingers. He gasped for breath and moaned loudly. This was too much. So much pleasure, it was almost agonizing pain. Adam squeezed Kris's hands harder and harder. The feeling of being inside Kris was like nothing he'd felt before.

"Oh God...oh Kris, you're so good...so hot and so tight...oh fuck yes," he hissed.

They panted for breath, their bodies glistening with sweat, heat radiating between them. Kris unlocked their hands and grabbed Adam's neck. He pulled him down to kiss him. They kissed as if they were starved for each other. Adam's hand found Kris's cock and began stroking him, matching his rhythm with that of his body. Kris bit down on Adam's lip and moaned into his mouth. His head fell back and Adam sucked on his exposed neck.

"Kris...oh God Kris, I want...I need, I...," Adam had no idea what he wanted, what he needed. They moved faster against each other, harder. The combined sensations of Adam filling him and stroking him were too much for Kris.

"Fuck! More, Adam...oh my God...ADAM!" Kris screamed his name over and over. The sound of his name coming out of Kris's mouth in such obvious pleasure sent Adam over the edge. He stroked Kris harder and pushed inside him once more, burying himself completely. They came at the same time, white hot pleasure searing them, scorching them, burning, hotter and hotter, going higher and higher until they exploded and fell over the edge.

"I love you!" They said it together. Blinding passion and love engulfed them both, bathed them, until there was nothing else except Kris and Adam. Adam and Kris. Each of them loved, and was loved in return, and it was everything.

There were tears, but there was love.

"Adam?" Kris held him close.

"I love you Kris."

Kris smiled weakly, "But why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"Yes baby, you are," he said softly as he wiped away his tears. He looked away and Kris waited for his eyes to return to his. When they did, Kris's heart leapt. They were happy...completely happy this time.  
"It's because you love me," he said softly, almost shyly.

"Oh yes, Adam...yes, I do love you!" Kris kissed his forehead and gathered him into his arms. They slept contentedly in each other's embrace, love wrapped all around them.  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing the truth is not always easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My very first Kradam fiction

"God, the hotel security is so lame," Allison muttered to herself as she stepped out of the elevator and into the Adam’s floor and started walking toward Adam’s room. She was looking for Kris, for both Kris and Adam actually. She was on tour for her new album and had a show in Little Rock. The night before, right after the show, she had gotten a call from Katy. She sounded upset. Kris was not answering his phone. Katy had said Kris had been staying with Adam at the hotel, and she could not get a hold of Kris or Adam. Apparently Katy had found out that Allison was on tour in Arkansas and asked her to stop by the hotel and make sure they are both OK. Allison wondered what that was all about. So she had promised she'd go and find Kris and Adam. Being an Idol herself and knowing Adam so well had come in handy. She had told the hotel security that she was in town and was supposed to meet Adam. She had even told them that she knew Adam had signed under the name of Freddie Mercury, like he always had during their stays at hotels during Idol tour. Katy was coming home a day early, that day, in fact, and she needed someone to pick her up at the airport. Allison had promised Katy to do it if she could not find Adam or Kris in time.

As Allison slid the room card at the lock and opened the door of Adam's room, her mouth fell open and she stood frozen, hand on the door knob, eyes gawking. Was she really seeing what she was seeing? Kris and Adam sprawled on the bed, with Kris's head resting on Adam's naked chest and Adam's arms wrapped around Kris? After a few minutes of sheer shock, Allison's lips curved into a devilish little smile. She crept into the room and sat down on a chair near the side of the bed. She shook her head and covered her mouth to keep from giggling. So it was true, finally! The thought had always been there and she hated herself for thinking that way about her friends, yet it had always been at the back of her mind and never gone away completely. She had always thought that Kris and Adam were maybe a little bit more than best friends, and there it was, right in front of her eyes, in the open, plain to see! Oh she could not wait for them to wake up! She would tease the hell out of them! It was going to be so good; she was going to have so much fun with it!

Kris opened his eyes slowly and stretched. He pulled himself out of Adam's embrace and propped himself up on one elbow. He ran his hand over Adam's hair and smiled. Leaning down he kissed him gently.

Allison squirmed. She so did not need to see this!

_God, Kris! Just turn the fuck around and see me!_

Adam woke up and smiled lazily at Kris. His hands curved around Kris's back.

"Good morning," he said softly.

"Good morning to you too baby," Kris whispered back and kissed him again.

_Ok, that's it! I so didn’t need to see that! I can't take this anymore, and I'm sick of waiting._

"Good morning guys!"

Kris whipped himself around at the sound of that familiar cheerful voice.

"Allison?!"

Kris did not know what to do, what to say. He heard Adam suck in his breath. No one spoke. Allison darted her amused eyes back and forth between Kris and Adam. Adam and Kris looked scared to death. Finally after such a long and painful silence it was Adam that spoke up.

"What...what are you doing here?" He asked tentatively.

"Well let's just put that on hold for a second, OK? Why don't you guys talk to me, huh?" Allison said gently. She sensed how nervous and worried they were at her finding out about their relationship, and she felt a little guilty for sneaking up on them, "Tell you what. You guys get um...get dressed and well, I'll meet you downstairs at the hotel lobby and we can talk over breakfast, OK?"

They both nodded obediently.

*****************************

"Coffee?" Allison asked when Kris and Adam both appeared in the hotel restaurant later, still looking scared and anxious. They both shook their heads. Allison put her coffee back on the table and looked up at the guys and motioned for them to sit down. Kris and Adam sat across from her.

"God! Will you two fucking stop looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Kris asked, not really meeting Allison’s eyes.

"Like I'm going to post pictures of you on Twitter or …or worse...like I'm going to hate you?" Allison said as she took a sip of her coffee and looked back up at them. She sighed, "When did you guys figure out you were more than just friends? Was it…was it during Idol?"

Their eyes moved from her to each other and back.

It was Kris who spoke first, "No, I mean…yeah I started to have feelings for him back then, but… I never gave it much thought until a couple of days ago."

Allison looked surprised, "That's it?"

Adam smiled and asked, "Well what did you think? That we'd been together since day one at Idol?"

Allison bit her lip and then took a sip of coffee, not willing to answer that question.

"So what happened? If you don't mind my asking."

"Nah, we don't mind...I mean unless you do, Kris?" Adam asked tentatively.

Kris shook his head, "No I don't mind."

Kris continued to give Allison an overview of what had passed between them. He still was not sure what he thought of their friend knowing...it was still so soon, so fast, but Allison was perfectly fine with everything. In fact, she was happy for them, and that made both Kris and Adam happy, and somewhat relieved.

"So Allison, you never did tell us what are you doing in town...and wait a minute," continued Adam, looking around in confusion, "How the hell did you get in my room?"

"I had a show at Little Rock last night, and you can blame me being in that room on the lame hotel security and a very predictable Adam," Allison teased.

"What? I am so totally unpredictable. Ask ABC about my AMA performance if you don’t believe me," Adam said laughing.

Kris rolled his eyes, "So Al, are you going to tell us why you're here or are you going to keep us in suspense?"

Allison looked away.

"Al? Is something wrong?" Kris asked, sounding more serious now.

"Well it depends on how you look at it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Asked Adam.

Allison sighed, "Ok I'm just going to tell you both cause there's no use in putting in off anymore. Katy called me last night. She knew I had a show nearby and wanted to know if I could look for you, Kris."

Kris and Adam's faces paled.

"Why...why was she looking for me?" Kris asked hoarsely. Adam pretended to be very interested in picking pieces of lint off his pants.

"She said she couldn't get a hold of you or Adam. I guess you guys didn't want to be disturbed," she said, sounding somewhat embarrassed, "But anyway I told her I'd try and find you."

"What did she want?" Kris asked softly, "Did something happen?"

Adam heard the concern in Kris's voice and it tugged at his heart. After last night, he knew, without a doubt, that Kris loved him but, he had to still have feelings for her too. She was his wife after all, and that made him worry, even though logically, he knew there was no reason to.

"No everything's fine but she um...she called to tell you she's coming home a day early...today."

Adam sat up sharply, his eyes darting around nervously. Kris, though worried about the inevitable confrontation, sensed Adam's fear, and quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. Adam relaxed somewhat. Allison watched that small exchange between them with a slight smile. They had always done things like that, long before anything had ever happened. They had always had a connection that no one could ever break. Allison wondered to herself why they had never realized their feelings until recently, "Look, I told her I was in town for a day or two and that if I couldn't find either of you that I would pick her up at the airport. If you want, I'll still do that."

Kris smiled weakly, "Would you? I...God this is happening so fast. I mean I knew I was going to have to tell her when she got back, but I wanted to prepare better than this."

"Maybe it'll be better if it happens sooner. You know, you don't want to postpone something so big," said Allison.

Adam still had not spoken. Was Kris really going to tell her? He was really going to leave her to be with him? Adam squeezed Kris's hand tighter.

"Al, would you please pick her up and take her back to our house? I'll meet you there so I can talk to her. I just...I can't face her at the airport."

"Of course I will Kris, and then I'll come over here and hang with you Adam, OK?"

Adam looked up and saw concern in Allison's eyes. It made him smile. Allison was such a sweet girl. She did not think Adam should be alone during that. She knew how insecure Adam could be. Silently Kris praised God for having been blessed with such a kind and thoughtful friend as Allison. He knew that the time he was going to be with Katy was going to be hell for Adam.

*****************************

A look of worry passed over Katy's face when she saw only Allison waiting for her when she got off the plane. Something was wrong. It was not just because Kris was not there; it was the way Kris had been acting for the past week, when she had been away. He had sounded so distant on the phone, like he was too preoccupied with something else to talk to her. She bit her lip. This was not the first time she had been thinking those thoughts. Ever since he had told her he would be staying with Adam....

"Hey Katy! How was your flight?" Allison said, smiling warmly.

"Oh...fine," she said absently.

"Hmm, so I see… You have something on your mind, huh? You're wondering where Kris is, right?"

Katy nodded as they made their way through the crowd, "I take it you didn't find him?" She asked softly, not wanting to draw attention to them. As it was, there were already several people recognizing Allison. Good thing she had brought some security. They finally managed to make it to the car unscathed.

"Katy, I kinda lied before," Allison said gingerly as they drove away.

"Lied? What do you mean?"

"I did find Kris. It's just that,-"

"Where is he?" Katy asked worriedly, “Is…is he alright?”

"He…he is fine. He's at home...waiting for you. That's where I'm taking you. He wanted me to pick you up and bring you there."

For a second Katy’s heart leapt. Was Kris planning some romantic homecoming for her? A surprise?

But Allison's tone of voice suggested differently.

"Allison, what's wrong?" Katy asked softly as she looked out the window. She did not really expect her to answer.

"Honey, you're going to have to wait for him to tell you."

"But you know, don't you? I can hear it in your voice."

Katy sighed, frustrated. She knew Allison well enough to know that she would not betray her friend, but Allison surprised her, "Look Katy, I don't want to say too much cause Kris is one of my best friends and I won't betray his confidence but I want to give you some fair warning,-"

"I'm not going to like what he has to say, am I?" She asked softly, sadly.

Allison's heart went out to her. Katy looked so sad, so crushed. She seemed to know what was coming, well she probably did not know exactly what was coming, but she looked heartbroken. Without thinking, Allison reached over and touched her hand, "Sweetie...I really don't know what to say but yeah, you probably won't like what he has to say...I'm sorry for upsetting you."

Allison knew that none of that was her fault; she was just doing Kris and Adam a favor, but still, she felt so guilty!

"It's not your fault," Katy said, smiling weakly, "I'm just...well I guess I should wait until I see what he's going to say right?"

Allison nodded.

As they arrived at the house, Allison helped Katy take her luggage into the house.

"Kris? We're here," Allison yelled from the hallway. Katy set down a bag and looked around nervously for him. Allison walked into the kitchen and saw Kris hang up the phone.

"Adam?" Allison whispered, motioning towards the phone. Kris bit his lip and nodded.

"You're going over there now, right?" Kris asked anxiously. Adam had sounded so scared, so small on the phone. It was amazing how when the whole thing started, Adam had been the one to seduce Kris, to reassure him, but now that they were in love, Adam was the hesitant and scared one

Allison nodded, "Don't worry I won't leave him alone, OK? Now you gotta go deal with the heartbroken woman in your living room."

Kris paled, "You didn't,-"

"No Kris, of course I didn't tell her. I can't believe you'd think I would. She knows something is up, though."

"Al, please...I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous, I,-"

Allison shook her head and put her hands on Kris's arms, "It's OK homey and I forgive you. Now just go talk to her. And yes...I'm going right over to Adam's."

Unexpectedly, Kris reached out and pulled Allison to his embrace, "Thank you so much...for everything," Kris whispered.

"It's nothing Kris, really," Allison said softly as she hugged him back. She knew Kris was very worried about both Katy and Adam. She did not like seeing her friend so upset. Kris had been the one who had reassured her and was there for her, when she was in doubt or insecure or sad during their days on American Idol, and she desperately wanted to be there for him as well, but she knew she had to leave and leave Kris to face Katy alone.

*****************************

"Welcome home," Kris said softly as he walked into the living room and faced Katy. She knew something was wrong but the sight of him was still a comfort. She could not help going to him and wrapping her arms around him. He held her tightly, truly upset for what he was going to do. She was a wonderful person, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. But it would not be fair to lie and stay with her. It would not be fair to her or to himself...or to Adam.

They sat down on the couch and Katy brought it up first, "Kris, please tell me what it is. Allison hinted that you had something important to tell me...something I wouldn't like, and I...I've sensed a difference in you for the last week. What...what happened Kris?"

She sounded so upset, and that was making everything even more difficult.

"Katy," Kris started, stopping to clear his throat, "I…I never, ever meant to hurt you...You have to believe me when I say that I never meant for what happened to happen but it did and I...," He stopped and ran his hands through his hair, "God this is coming out so cliché and cold, I,-"

"Kris, stop! Please," she said softly. She looked down at her hands, unwilling to believe what she knew to be true. He had found someone else. She knew it. What else could it be?

"You found someone else, didn't you?" She had not meant to ask, but she had to hear what he had to say.

Kris wanted to be honest so he nodded his head, ‘yes’ and immediately rushed on, "But that's not all, I mean...I never saw it coming."

She did not want to know the details.

"What did I do wrong?" Whispered Katy sadly.

"Oh God, Katy! You did nothing wrong...absolutely nothing at all," Kris said desperately. He hated to see her hurting so much. They were both silent for awhile. Kris was trying to figure out where to start. Katy was trying to work up the courage to ask her next question. Finally she blurted it out.

"Who is it?"

Kris looked up sharply, meeting her eyes. It was now or never. He knew he was going to give her the shock of her life. After all, it had sure been a shock to him. He looked down, ran his hand through his hair, and looked back up.

"Adam."

*****************************

"Adam, you have to be patient, OK?" Allison said, desperately trying to calm him down. Adam continued to pace back and forth, saying nothing.

"Adam, you're driving me crazy. Stop pacing around!" Allison demanded, pointing to the couch for Adam to sit down. Adam did as he was told.

"You love Kris, right?"

Adam nodded.

"And you trust him?"

Again, Adam nodded.

"Then stop it! Stop worrying!"

Adam looked down at his hands and instantly Allison felt bad. She had not meant to sound so harsh. Sighing, she reached over and gently put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Adam, he loves you. It's been apparent to me since I found out. So just trust him, OK?"

"I do trust him Al, I'm just...I'm just nervous."

To Allison's surprise, Adam leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Thank you for staying with me," he said softly.

"No biggie Adam, now what do you want to do? Play Guitar Hero? Watch a movie?"

Adam sat up and smiled at her, with a devilish glint in his eye, "Guitar Hero," he said happily. Allison rolled her eyes.

"So fucking predictable," she muttered, as she reached for the guitar.

*****************************

Katy said nothing, only stared at Kris.

_That's it!_

Her brain screamed at her.

_That’s what has been there in your thoughts for months, but you never let yourself even dare to think!_

She finally spoke up.

"What? How? I mean Kris…," She stopped, unsure of what to say.

"You sound as confused as I was. Like I said, I never saw it coming," He smiled weakly.

"But Kris...I'm sorry… I…I just don't know what to do with this. When did this start?"

"After you left...the first night I stayed with him. I started it, I mean I kissed him first, but...he was totally in charge...he seduced me completely," Kris said and stood up and walked to the window, "After the first time I felt so guilty and very confused. I mean I was cheating on you, but besides that I...I had just slept with my best friend...my male best friend, but I found myself wanting him again...and I didn't resist the next time."

Katy watched him with a mix of pity and fascination. Her sadness was slowly dissolving.

His tone changed suddenly then. He faced her and said, "'K, it was only supposed to be sex!" He sounded upset and confused, "Even though I felt guilty, we continued with what we were doing, but then it all changed. I fell in love with him. And he fell in love with me," He stopped and sat down next to her again, "I didn't know what to do," he continued, "But I've never felt like this...ever. He makes me so happy, he...completes me."

Katy smiled softly. She felt stupid for missing it. His and Adam's relationship had always been so completely different from any other guys she had ever known. They were so loving, so caring. It had always fascinated her, and yes, occasionally the thought had crossed her mind that they might be more than best friends, but she had always dismissed that. She had known Kris for a long time; she believed he knew the guy she had dated since high school, so she never really believed it would happen, until now...now it all seemed perfectly clear. In fact, it seemed stupid to think that she and Kris would've ever worked anymore since Adam had come to their lives! Funny how such important things can change so quickly.

"Say something Katy, please," Kris pleased, “Scream, hit me, anything, just say something, do something!”

She looked up, coming out of her thoughts, "Kris I...I really don't know how to put any of this, but I'll try. It hurts. It hurts that you don't want me anymore, that we're over, but after everything you told me, it all makes sense."

Kris looked at her curiously, "What do you mean, it makes sense?"

"I mean you and Adam. You should have seen yourself around the guy. No wonder you fell for each other. That makes perfect sense," She reached over and hugged him. He pulled her close.

"You are amazing," he whispered, "So understanding, so sweet, and so beautiful. I feel lucky to have shared a part of your life."

Katy started to cry. Damn! Why did he have to be so sweet?! They pulled apart.

"I'm sorry Kris...for making you cry…for everything," he said softly.

She smiled, "No, no Kris, it's OK. You're just being too sweet. Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"We'll always be friends?" Kris looked at her happily, contentment and relief shining in his eyes.

"Always! I promise," He smoothed her hair and leaned forward to kiss her.  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing the truth is not always easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My very first Kradam fiction

"I'm coming," Allison muttered. God, what was she, a secretary? Adam had been in the shower for only a few minutes and he had had at least 10 phone calls. Two giggles and a hang up...must be some fans who got lucky, a couple solicitations and Adam’s mom.

"Allison? Where's Adam?"

"He's in the shower, Kris. How'd it go?"

"Amazingly well! She was so understanding...I mean she is hurt but she is not hysterical. How's Adam?" Kris asked anxiously.

"OK...better than I thought. I mean for awhile he just kept pacing and I thought I might have to murder him but we played Guitar Hero, ate, and now he's in the shower."

Kris laughed in relief, "I'm coming right over...don't tell him. I want to surprise him. Oh and Al?"

"Yeah Kris?"

"Would you do me one last favor?"

"I guess!" Allison said, with exaggerated annoyance, "What do you want this time?"

"Would you, uh, spend some time with Katy? Help her pack up some stuff that she had here, keep her company?"

"Oh God no, anything but that!" Allison joked, "Of course I will. Tell her I'll be over as soon as you get here."

"Al?" Kris said quickly, before he hung up, "Yes Kris?"

"You're the best!"

"I know," she replied, sighing arrogantly.

Kris laughed, "I'll see you soon."

*********************

"He's sleeping," said Allison quietly as Kris walked inside.

"Sleeping?!"

Allison laughed, "Yeah, I was surprised too. I mean it's only 9 o'clock, but I think this whole situation exhausted him."

Kris only nodded.

"Kris, do you want me to go see her now? I mean, did you tell her I was coming or anything?"

"Yeah I did, she's waiting for you. Thanks again, Al...for everything."

"Kris for God's sake, would you quit thanking me? We're friends right? Friends help friends...so stop it!"

Kris smiled and sarcastically said, "Sorry! Now get the hell outta here!"

"Anxious, aren't we?"

Kris's eyes narrowed as he continued to smile. Allison laughed, "Ok! I'm going, I'm going! I'll talk to you later, Kris."

"Good bye Al."

*********************

Kris crawled quietly into bed next to a sleeping Adam. He pulled him into his arms and Adam instantly nestled himself closer. Kris desperately wanted to talk to him, but he did not have the heart to wake him. Adam's hands began idly stroking Kris's back.

"Is everything OK baby?" Adam asked softly.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Kris whispered, shifting himself so he could look into his lover's eyes.

"You didn't."

Kris brought a hand to Adam's arm, absently tracing the lines of his tattoo, "Everything is fine Adam. She was upset, but she was also very understanding. She didn't flip out or anything. In fact, we promised we'd still be friends."

Adam smiled and let his hand slip into Kris's hair, "I'm glad everything is OK. I mean I really like Katy, she's so sweet."

"You really think that?" Kris asked, somewhat amused. He knew Adam well enough to know that his jealousy ran hot and fast. The only reason he thought she was sweet now was because she had no hold over him. Kris smiled at him.

"Alright, so I was jealous of her for awhile but I really did always think she was sweet."

They lay still for a little while, caressing each other softly.

"Kris, where do we go from here?"

"I don't know Adam," he said softly, bringing his hand to Adam's cheek, "But we'll figure it out together, OK?"

 

Adam nodded and turned his head to kiss Kris's hand.

"I love you Kris," he whispered against his palm, his eyes never leaving Kris's.

"I love you Adam."

Kris moved his hand into Adam's hair and moved closer to him. Their lips met in a soft, loving kiss, breathing the same breath, tongues meeting and mating, lips pressed tightly together. Adam pulled away first for air and pushed himself closer to Kris. He nestled himself into Kris's chest, wrapping his arms tightly around him and holding fast. Kris kissed his hair and held him closely. They fell asleep in each other's arms, both of them content with the knowledge that they had finally found where it was they were supposed to be. No matter what else would happen, they knew they had each other, always, forever.


End file.
